I have a message for people who behave like Chris Gayle did in a moment of foolishness — who would prefer to look cool rather than cater to another person’s dignity.
You think you’re a man, but you’re only a boy, for boys haven’t yet learned that if there’s any person who deserves respect it’s the one who was born to be respected: she is a woman, typically the godliest of creatures. Let me qualify those last four words: most women who are crass have learned that if you can’t beat (the men) you join them. Most women would much prefer just being real. Most women just want men to be real, and not hide behind a false egoistic bravado. (It goes without saying that men deserve a man’s respect, too.)
Isn’t it so unfortunately ironic that the phrase ‘man up’ comes as a macho call to do what men apparently do — to ‘toughen up, princess.’ The great pity is, that in ‘manning up’ and ‘toughening up’ — when it’s done at the expense of others — a scandalous insult against the real term of manning up is set forth.
Isn’t it funny how fathers of daughters insist on them being respected. Yet some of those same men flay other women’s dignity, usually in ‘jest’. It makes absolutely no sense.
Let’s look at real inward respect.
Respect is a true meeting of minds and a combining of hearts. Even in disagreement respect shows love is bigger than our difference.
What I’m saying is this.
It’s easy to get upset when others’ views are different to ours. But love is very cool when it makes us desire to win people’s hearts; their respect. That can only be done when we commit to respecting them without any condition we’d place on the relationship. Then we start to have an attitude of serving them. And this is hardly being a doormat. We have chosen to serve. We have decided to give. We have opted to love.
Respect leaves arrogance and a range of other superiority complexes for dead. It has risen above the childish desire to win at another’s expense, which is actually a neediness which suggests real weakness.
Respect comes from a heart converted to the community’s beneficence. It comes from a mind that thinks in terms of goodness. Respect is a fighter who refuses to fight but for another’s cause, and yet it fights a good fight and earns esteem even with its enemies.
Respect is cogent in the powerful, for nothing is more despicable than power in the wrong hands. Respect starts from within, and everything it touches is blessed.
Respect cannot harm nor be harmed. It’s as safe as can be. And it’s inspiring because it always bears a heart for others that lets others be themselves.
And it’s to this respect that men are called to; to be pillars.
Men have a God-designated-and-anointed role to be exemplars of respect. Especially when it comes to women — all women — mothers (women older than them), sisters (women in the same age bracket), daughters (younger women), and especially wives (a man’s soulmate).
© 2016 Steve Wickham.