Those who need to bully people, or prove they have some sort of control over their world, are generally scared, little people.
They are deluded by the god of lies into thinking they can, or should need to, orchestrate many overt and covert manipulations.
Of course they induce fear in the loving, for care is so estranged to these types of interactions. We may want to care and defend, but the opportunities are scant, even blocked, and then our frustration melds with an aggressive response. We are always on the back foot from there.
Aggression is not the way to contend with a bully.
The Irony of the Bully and Bullying
The bully brandishing their bravado is ironic; he or she hates ‘bullies’ and certain ‘injustices’. They are blinded and blinkered in their delusion of intolerance. Everyone knows that—those on the receiving end—but them. Anyone would think the bully’s the one accommodating everybody else, when precisely the reverse is the case.
They have everyone self-conscious and guarded—even the humbly assured.
The wise find ways of staying out of their way, but, with a blend of courage, the bully may be matched, and even ultimately ‘beaten’. Patience and emotionless self-control are our best allies.
Here is the biggest irony: they, within themselves, subconsciously, are petrified, for they are still in denial regarding their childhoods. Real spiritual muscle comes from admission, processing the hurts of our childhoods and addressing the subsequent malformed character traits, unto eventual acceptance. Not with these!
The Bully’s ‘Salvation’
The bully’s ‘salvation’ comes in the mode of self-fabricated lies, built, because of their rampant denial, from the need of the only safety they have left. This is the safety of Satan—they are agents for the Accuser. And just like negative attention seems to be better than no attention at all, it appears the ‘safety’ of the evil one is preferred by humanity over the only real safety—faith in God through Christ.
Vulnerability is far too scary for the truly fearful who only have aggression with which to meet life; their version of which is scary at every turn. No wonder the need for bravado. Why else would people choose a cornering style of interacting with people like bravado over a love where everyone wins?
If it were to take real courage to be a bully then there would be next to no bullying. Bullies thrive on fear because, deep down, they are full of fear. It’s useful to understand this. Our best response to bullying is patience and emotionless self-control to keep communication mature, yet assertive.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.