Taking a definitive event—maybe a task, us with one or two other people—there is generally an unspoken, ebbing and flowing, gravitation within the relationship.
Everything within the negotiable elements of the relationship is flexible.
Everything is up for grabs. People’s choices within the relationship determine how it gravitates.
This is most discernible by people’s early verbal agreement that varies by the form of the actual result as observed later. What comes about is not exactly as it was initially agreed.
This is because:
1. There was no perfect agreement to begin with, or
2. Either, both, some or all parties have changed their minds, or
- The needs of the situation changed.
This is a marvellous phenomenon. It proves there is a willingness for parties in the relationship to:
1. Have a wait-and-see approach, or
2. Try to use unspoken influence, or
- Want to work together on the same general goal.
When Relationships Become Truly Win/Win
The importance of knowing these things could be primary as we begin to see the other(s) as thinking, feeling persons just like we are.
They have goals from their perspective just like we have goals from ours. When we understand there are multiple perspectives in any given situation our perspective doesn’t need to dominate the relational territory. (It is humbling to accept we have merely one perspective—we need others to broaden our perspectives.)
The landscape of conflict can then become more of a vista of cooperation.
But, it begins with us. We are able to facilitate negotiative progress if we have risen above our potential stubbornness. Achieving things with others is made easier when we embark on cooperativeness.
When we are no longer the barrier they, too, are subconsciously encouraged, with their defences down, to no longer be a barrier, also.
And so the process we are working on gravitates by an unknown force, perhaps by the Spirit of God, beyond any one person’s direct control. This is relationships’ most wondrous ally, surely.
That a small group of individuals can be so surrendered for the group or collective good is glorious.
As the flow of progress gravitates all players, more or less, regulate the relationship—so long as one person or group is not dominant.
When people work together and listen to one another, with a willingness to explore common perspectives, putting their own agendas to one side, great things can be achieved. It is one representation of heaven brought to earth.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.