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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Sadness on Mother’s Day


As there is sombre soberness in the midst of many celebrations, there can be a great deal of sadness associated with Mother’s Day. Some have lost mothers, some never had one, some are not mothers when they’d like to be, and others have negative memories of their mothers. There are a thousand and more different facets of sadness, even amongst the happiness of such a day.
Sadness doesn’t change. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be somewhat healed.
When Something Is Missing
It is crass to think that everyone enjoys the concept of Mother’s Day without the possibility that it brings pain to many.
Some even wish, rightly for them, that such a concept was never invented. So much do mothers mean to us, and fathers for that matter too, that the concept of Mother’s Day is associated with a polar dichotomy. It brings up strong emotions in most of us.
For those who have lost dear mothers, besides cool remembrances, there is a sure sense of pain—to have lost; to have no more, barring the memory. And memories we can cherish. But the sadness of loss is not lost on these.
Some never had mothers, not a natural mother, as compared with most of the rest of us. There was perhaps a grandmother, a foster mother, or an important guardian—who may have done a brilliant job in their mothering. Nonetheless, Mother’s Day reminds us of what we never had.
There are those, too, who have battled to have the sort of relationship with their mother that has been, until now, unrealised. Needs have been thwarted, and frustration continues to be felt.
Finally, there are those who desperately want to be mothers, and even have the finery of maternal material to work with. But having a baby or starting a family has eluded them. Mother’s Day can be a reminder of that which seems impossible or irredeemable.
Deriving Benefit From Sadness On Mother’s Day
The world as it is celebrates these days. We cannot do anything about that. We cannot get away from the marketing onslaught, selling Mother’s Day to all who would buy it. We may loath the very thought of such a day.
But this is not where we have to leave it.
We can derive benefit from our sadness, if we have the courage to be truthful with ourselves, and, especially before God, we can be healed.
Healing is the derived benefit from our heard sadness. Just to know we are not alone, that such suffering is not abnormal, can be healing in itself.
***
Mother’s Day can be a sad reminder. It’s because motherhood, generally, means so much to us that we may lament instead of celebrate. Let us not judge our sadness. When we allow our sadness to simply be, then we may be healed, again.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

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