Imagine a thought-world where you would neither perceive the need to be defensive nor would you think in terms of attack. All that would come into your mental processes would be dealt with in an unemotional way, and everything communicated would also be conveyed without negative emotion. Your relationships would be, in the main, positive.
Such a mental space would have no armour-plated shell protecting what’s inside you by defending in counter-attack.
Being beyond defence and beyond attack is a cherished state of the joyous life.
And whilst many may feel it is an unrealistic goal, there is no question that to harness just some of it would be beneficial.
Being Beyond Defence
Even though both issues are linked—being defensive and attacking other people—they can, for the purposes of our thought, be separated.
Being beyond defence is the ability to manage our interactions in such a way that as we feel ourselves becoming defensive, in the moment, we ask why, without giving into the defensiveness if we can. The other person may not intentionally evoke our defence. And they certainly don’t want to be attacked, which is what a lot of defensive action consists of.
There are a plethora of reasons why we would be defensive. There is no shame in it, because it is so common. But knowing why we are defensive, and not submitting to our defensiveness, is the key.
We need to find ourselves in a position where we cannot, or will not, defend ourselves, unless, by right action, we need to defend ourselves. In other words, defences that lead to attack are the defences that we seek to eradicate.
Defences that are necessary to protect our safety are very good defences and should remain, always, for our safety.
When we understand that other people’s attacks are them transferring their anguish and frustration onto us we can afford to extend, to and for them, a little compassion. We can also understand our need to get beyond attacking others.
Being Beyond Attack
Likewise, when we are in a position-of-mood where we might attack others we are improperly positioned. Our scope for mental and emotional vision has narrowed to the point where we see others as the enemy; like, others are to be fought.
This is generally illogical.
Apart from times when we must attack to provide for our safety, in order to get out of a dangerous situation, attack is a highly inappropriate and insufficient response.
Being beyond attacking other people is about being right-sighted about ourselves, and knowing about the threats to our emotional and spiritual peace. When we are beyond attacking people we are safe to be around. People trust and respect us.
The best people to be around are those who are beyond defence and beyond attack. They are safe. We are at peace with ourselves when we are neither defensive nor attacking.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.