“Attractiveness is what you do with what you have.”
~Willard F. Harley, His Needs Her Needs.
Though these words stand just as they are, there’s more to be said in really understanding it. Instead of entreating the externalities of enhancing our good looks we’re hearkened to gaze within, to untap the vast resources we already have; those most astutely put there for our purpose.
This law of increased attractiveness is not just mitigating our weaknesses but supersizing existing strengths too.
Everyone Has Strengths of Attractiveness
There’s not a human being created who’s not beautiful in many ways already. Harley speaks in his book about a woman he counselled who was depressed. She sought to become more attractive. It wasn’t as if she didn’t already have pleasant attributes, for instance a good figure and a charismatic way. But, her face had aged prematurely and her hair had greyed significantly.
With encouragement she believed she could make adjustments to make herself more attractive. And then over several months she did it. It was only then that she realised what many do when the metamorphosis is complete: her attractiveness became most personally compelling. What others thought was now secondary. This woman—like all of us—already had the stock in store.
Western ‘Vanity’ – Not Just a Silly Myth
Many feel exposed for derision for being interested in their looks. Besides being consumed by it (like anything we take to extremes) it’s a healthy thing to make the most of our looks.
If a focus on enhancing our looks can take other facets of our being in thoroughly positive directions we wonder why more aren’t doing it.
Besides, this very thing is perhaps what the sedentary and obese Western world most needs; to swing back onto the game beyond our culture. This is the physical game of life not stuck in the Westernised cocoon—the curse of relative luxury.
Worth Every Bit the Effort
For anyone who’s never tried making themselves more attractive it’s worth a season of attempting it, particularly if physical, health or self-esteem problems surmount.
For those who’ve ‘been there and done that’ there’s nothing wrong with revisiting it. And for the third group who’ve maintained their drive for a previously established attractiveness, it’s really a case of maintaining it, even trying some new things.
It might seem a superficial conquest, but it’s a false humility that rejects it point blank when a better “you” is just a few months away.
© 2011 S. J. Wickham.