[He thinks], “I think I should speak now,” [she thinks], “Why won’t you talk to me?” [He thinks], “I can’t seem to speak now,” [she thinks], “You never talk to me.”
~Pink Floyd, Keep Talking, 1994.
We’ve all been in these emotionally-charged situations. For want of words we get silence—on both fronts, or worse, it is forcing communication on one side when the other side just can’t speak, for they have little to actually say—or perhaps there’s that much to say they don’t know where to start.
These situations are screaming out for compassion on a bipartisan level. Both people party to the conflict are best advised getting out of one another’s hair.
‘Get / Keep Talking’ – Sounds Simple
What sounds so very simple for some is for others, in certain confounding situations, patently impossible. It’s not even as if people in this space want to be there, but there’s a blockage—within them, and within the relationship dynamic itself. The blockage fuses frustration, confusion and temporary feelings of insanity into a tight little hot-ball of pent-up, unreleased energy; a bomb ready to blow.
Sometimes space is required first before ‘hostilities’ can safely resume.
Releasing the Tension
Being lost for words is okay. Oftentimes it’s about not having any, or enough, room to move; suddenly we’re drowning in a world of compulsion—there are just no options left. This is not a good situation for anyone. No one enjoys being backed or painted into a corner.
Perhaps what are needed are invented or innovated options?
Somehow we’re relieving the tension when we’re creating space—space for ourselves and others. Does the problem really need to be addressed or solved this way, at this time, without recourse to reflection... really? Are we otherwise stuck in a particular rut of thought—set concretely in solution mode?
This is about challenging our conventions of thought and our perceptions of how important the other person is, and how they feel about these things.
As soon as one party relinquishes their hold on the issues, breaking them open with genuine and unconditionally-suggested options, the other party is generally freed to consider things from a vastly different viewpoint.
Imagine the power manifest in both giving way to each other.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.