Whatever we’re facing right now, we’re duped by remaining in the immediate past. We’re best to leave the matter or resolve to do something, and then move on, until it comes time perhaps to do the thing we decided to do.
This above is the clinical way of the fully developed adult from the emotionally-intelligent viewpoint. There is no good stewing about things.
There are two good and healthy options open to us in our resolving of concerning matters.
1. Just Move On
By far and away most of the things that happen ‘to’ us in life can be passed over and effectively ignored. Whether people set out to offend us or we simply take offence is often irrelevant, especially from the longer term perspective.
There is little to be gained and far more to be lost in chasing the wind of conflict. There is a difference between feeling better and keeping others to account.
Challenging people will rarely help us feel better about things, and depending on how we handle our conflicts we can easily make things worse for ourselves.
Just moving on and focussing forward and not on the transgression or hurt is not a denial—it’s often an elevated choice to look on better things.
2. Resolving to Do Something – When the Matter’s Too Important to Leave ‘As Is’
So, perhaps we came across the sort of problem that just had to be met front-on. After all, many of us have responsibilities that command our attention to things where we cannot leave well enough alone.
The problem we have is when we continue to roll the matters around in our minds. Our minds sometimes take a little information, embellishing it too many times, and we’ll often take matters in the wrong direction, having ‘talked ourselves’ into a quandary.
And there are many wrong directions we can take; especially as we stew over things. Finally, we can resolve to fix a problem—a problem our own minds created—that’s not even there.
We consider the facts of the issue and then we decide, as clinically as we can. Then we might simply review the decision right before we have to enact it. Otherwise we don’t fret.
Just Keep Moving Forward
The immensity of the wisdom in this cannot ever be overestimated. The most majestic power of God it is to keep moving forward, not being stuck in the moments of our hurts, disappointments and discouragements.
Smiling our troubles away in not continually looking over our shoulders does take some discipline of self-control, but the benefits are very much worth it.
Keep moving forward.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.
I wrote this article titled Keep Moving Forward in 2007 and this is why this article is titled as a ‘revisit’ of the topic.