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Friday, March 19, 2010

When Love’s Flown the Coop

“When love flies out of the window for a while, keep the window open and marriage can survive.”

~Janvrin & Selleck.

Leaving the window open overnight once many years ago I was startled and surprised to see a bird sitting on my lounge the next morning. Needless to say I didn’t wait for it to fly out the window to try and get it back into its own environment—but that was not easy task. Several panicked moments for the bird and me! I quickly learned my lesson and closed the window.

With love that’s gone A.W.O.L. it’s the same deal. We can almost lose ultimate hope; indeed, many do and they separate or file for divorce—closing that marital window, lacking the belief that things might “miraculously” turn around.

Well they do sometimes, even often, given time. And not only that, there are two people involved so the dynamic is even harder to predict.

The other thing of note is all relationships go through their tough periods. I don’t know one marriage that entered a tough period and didn’t come out of it eventually—even years later—back to the same bliss it once was, where both partners were trying. You might be saying, ‘Well, I don’t have “years.”’ Sorry, but if you’re married, the way I see it, you’ve got the rest of your life. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. This knowledge doesn’t make it harder; it makes it easier. It’s time to relax and view the relationship in those terms—over a life-span.

The options of leaving versus staying and putting up gracefully with the tough time and doing all you can are not really the same when you consider how many people who leave their relationships end up never happy. They consign themselves often to a higher ideal than they can readily achieve with their track record, blistered identity and emotional baggage firmly in tow.

Think twice; then decide. If there are no really irreconcilable differences, then there’s probably no reason to give up.

Have faith for a turn-a-round.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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