I’M CONSTANTLY SEEKING FEEDBACK about my writing and love getting it—this is probably because ninety-nine percent of it is positive; it’s a no-brainer.
But often times I’ve had to subsist on little or no feedback—for extended periods. The effect early on was I would doubt myself, my ability, and even my worth in this regard i.e. as a writer with a contribution to make.
It made me think of how I used to be, only a few years back, when text messages and emails from my wife—when we courted—were devoured and I couldn’t get enough of them. I’d literally get down and depressed if I wasn’t constantly hearing from her. I was actually at times quite irrational about it. Funny, this sort of thing doesn’t bother me in the slightest these days.
I’ve reflected over this lack of feedback issue and resolved that God often tests our love of him by removing all the fluffy-stuff of life for a short period—the things we think are important—and he simply places himself there, in the breech; do we notice him and get our affirmation from him (via our self-concept) or do we suffer a fit of self-pity... I’m honest to say he’s revealed my lack of faithfulness in this very, very often.
The thing is, we must have faith for all the things we don’t know, because there is just so much we’re not even aware of, yet there are often things still happening behind the scenes for us.
In reality, we have not been abandoned, yet it does feel this way at times.
So, in our circumstances, if we’re feeling a little lonely, as if no one really cares, we should hold out for some vision of hope beyond our own sight; there is much we cannot see and much we’ll never know.
And this is faith: to accept this finally—as a matter of one’s course. Habitual cognisance of and action upon the faithful and steadfast response; this is faith.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.