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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

God, Could You Just Find Me a Mate, Please?

WHAT IF YOU’VE EVER PRAYED SUCH A PRAYER? I know I did. You’ve probably been seriously tested, presumably about singleness and the costs (for and against) of being single as opposed to being in a relationship. Being single for many is no fun whatsoever.

The truth is not many of us are cut out for a life of celibacy, yet life often throws us this singleness curve ball and our companionate, romantic and sexual needs go onto the backburner.

We can also begin to look at our friends who’re happy in relationships and we look on them with a healthy (or at times, unhealthy) envy. This is normal.

But, what happens if you’ve genuinely prayed the abovementioned prayer and suddenly things have changed—but not the way you expected? Suddenly you’re perhaps “off” the whole dating merry-go-round and God seems to be re-adjusting your thoughts, honing your heart and centralising your desires. He seems to be answering your prayers by tuning you to hold out for Mrs or Mr Right.

This seems to me to be a logical outcome of answered prayer—for we know prayer is designed as an “inside” job i.e. ‘God, change me.’ God works from within us, to conform us to the reality we so richly desire.

He’s working in you perhaps—in the meantime—to chip off some of those rougher edges that might potentially make you less attractive to a future mate (and as well yourself) if left untouched. This is where a trusted confidant is a really good thing—someone who’ll give you loving, honest feedback; not flattery or criticism—just the truth with your best in mind.

Friendship before ‘the dream becomes complete’ cannot be underestimated; that is friendship with those we can be brutally honest with, and they with us. There’s no sense in not being authentic and real about our thoughts and feelings, particularly where they involve spiritual deadness, a sense of helplessness or hopelessness. Talking is therapy.

Perhaps he’s preparing you for that day when the desires of your heart will be secured?

But, there’s an obvious threat in all this thinking. ‘What if I hold out and nothing comes of it?’ Some will succeed and some won’t—that’s life. Not only that, reality has a way of surprising us; it never really turns out the way we envision it, does it? Thankfully it’s the same deal for all.

We must remain entirely realistic that not all our hopes (not even most of them) materialise as we’d like. Hopes are hopes—they are what make life sparkle with life. They provide the zest and sort the boredom, but they also invoke risks of tragedy too.

Hope—the dual-edged sword.

Whilst we wait we can only best be advised to prepare for the very best that God has in store for us, personally. It is our opportunity to transcend ourselves and literally become who we were always meant to be. One of the best things about transcending ourselves is this: we re-invent what life is all about—suddenly hope and capacity and vision become us!

A future partner will always fit into that equation.

Become yourself, your true self.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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