We can’t be at peace with others whilst we’re at war with ourselves.
The good news in this statement, however, is with every bold move to congruence of self we grow our capacities with others. We can only keep moving forward in faith.
Congruence is about choosing the truth about ourselves, accepting it, and then moving onto the broader, and strangely more specific revelations of the future that’s gorgeously in store for us.
Congruence is challenging ourselves to think positively about others’ intent, believing they want the best for and with us; only from this standpoint are our reactions with others coming from a good, firm and healthy basis.
Knowledge is power. That’s the point. Knowing what must be done to secure interpersonal success we step through the process, one beat at a time... drumming to our own levels of increasing transcendence; intonation and strength-of-beat abiding.
The end goal is growing relational trust and respect with others—but that can’t be secured (with sustainability) whilst we’re at vast odds with ourselves; the baggage we carry must go.
It has to be taken to 35,000 feet and dropped out of the cargo doors. And as you see it descend upon the earth, scattering everywhere, say your goodbyes—for it’s never going to trouble you again like it has. This is not denial. It’s acceptance of its worst but then choosing to move on anyway. Sure, it may re-appear from time to time in different formats—and it may even surprise and devastate you temporarily, but you’ll not allow it to disturb your peace as much as it has anymore—you’ve resolved for better things from now on!
From here we do not give up—though temporarily we might—but, ultimately we won’t. The battles might consume the day but our objective is the war. And we will win. We will endure.
This, here, is the decision of the will. No more castigation and self-condemnation. No more ghosts in the closet embarking on your heart and confidence. No more strangers in the night. They’ll still threaten but your response is improving, little by little, day by 24-hour day.
You have the desire and the strength to do what you need to do to shore up the walls of your growing heart and resilience; if it’s group therapy or medication or any other sort of thing—you identify the need, with power, and then pounce on it.
And as you improve you will note with such gladness how much better certain relationships are going; how your confidence is improving; how comfortable you’re finding things that were once certainly more difficult.
This is no hotch-potch pipedream. This is your life we’re talking about. It’s being hi-jacked no more!—certainly without the haranguing costs there once was. Nothing stands in your way to congruence but yourself and your own willingness. The truth must win no matter what.
Making your life count, now—that’s empowering!
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.